Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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