so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
