break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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