I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
