we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
