My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
