That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
