Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
it was like eating out sand paper
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Randomize
