i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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