I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Did I show you my penis last night?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
