Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
