Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
