he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
