Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
