Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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