ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
