why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
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