WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
