Kiss
Puke
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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