I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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