Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
