There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
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