Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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