Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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