On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Randomize
