people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
