do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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