To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
