new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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