can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I'm just crazy horny about you
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
