He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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