we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
time to smoke my breakfast
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
