my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
