Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
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