I just pynch a tree in the face
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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