..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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