I can tuck mytits in my pants
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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