Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
