I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
