coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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