Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
