took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
