That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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