ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
