we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
