Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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