I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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