Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You took a bar mat shot.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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