i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
