Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
