just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
