I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
i think i just lost a toe
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
